orangefs: hopefully saner op refcounting and locking

orangefs: hopefully saner op refcounting and locking

* create with refcount 1
* make op_release() decrement and free if zero (i.e. old put_op()
  has become that).
* mark when submitter has given up waiting; from that point nobody
  else can move between the lists, change state, etc.
* have daemon read/write_iter grab a reference when picking op
  and *always* give it up in the end
* don't put into hash until we know it's been successfully passed to
  daemon

* move op->lock _lower_ than htab_in_progress_lock (and make sure
  to take it in purge_inprogress_ops())

Signed-off-by: Al Viro <[email protected]>
Signed-off-by: Mike Marshall <[email protected]>